What Could Have Been

When I gaze back into my past,

Back to when we didn’t even know what

1+1 even was.

I think of the times that we shared, laughs and all.

These are the days that I cherish the most

But, we were separated by the schools

Separated, in a way where we couldn’t communicate.

Even when I was having fun with my other friends

I always thought about what you were doing

And if you were thinking the same.

I was counting down the years until we would meet again,

The school got in our way.

You were on the other team than me

The only time we had together was P.E.

Then she got in our way.

She was pulling strings

The strings of my social life.

I thought that Fate would

Maybe give me a chance

To be able to renew the friendship that we had.

Fate rolled her dice,

And I was doomed from the start with Snake Eyes.

I wouldn’t give up.

I couldn’t give up.

I felt like, you were the one who understood me

The best.

I tried again, and yet I heard no answer from you.

I saw you with her and I knew I was doomed.

Perhaps you see something in her that I don’t,

Or maybe it’s the same thing that I saw

Which turned out to maybe be a fraud.

So what if she sees this poem?

I don’t care.

Maybe now she’ll be able to understand

To be able to understand that I’ve had

An empty abyss in my heart, maybe due to her actions.

All I want to say is this;

Maybe I was arrogant

Maybe it was ignorance.

Or maybe just pure jealousy.

All I know is now that

You’re above average

I’m average

Human being.

Your voice was so perfect,

I couldn’t even listen to the words

All I could do was to fight

Fight back the tears that were

Inside of me.

My only hope is

Is that you see this poem.

You see it through my eyes

My passion.

And that you see that I’m in anguish.

I see you and I see our past.

I see our pre-school days.

And that,

That tears me apart from the inside out.

And I can’t bear it anymore.

You’re voice has awoken my inner feelings.

Feelings that I’m sick of hiding.

I only hope that this poem reaches to your heart.

You find a way to be able to become a friend

To me

Not just to heal my soul, or my entire being

But because you understand the fact that

People change, or grow into themselves.

They are who they are,

And it may be hard for them to change.

I’m sick and tired of this grudge

That I’ve held onto

I want redemption.

My only wish is to make new memories with you,

Not just as some other classmate,

But as a friend.